Angela Arnwine
Tales of a Working Mom 

As the holiday season gets into full swing, I am reminded of all that extended amounts of time spent with extended family entails! I like to believe that every family has “issues” and that mine is not unique — but recently I have taken to really observing the quirky dynamics of my family of origin.

I have found that such acute observation provides wonderful material for both this article and in my effort to preserve my mental health.

Everyone in the Miranda clan is a coffee drinker. The five children grew up wat-ching our parents transform what should be a relaxing en-deavor into somewhat of — no, not somewhat … into a full blown, over-the-top, neurotic compulsion. Let me just cite some examples:

• My mother can only have coffee out of a glass mug, my father out of a ceramic. Each of them swears that it makes their coffee taste “different.” My mother once took this so far that she drank coffee out of a Pyrex glass measuring cup because no true glass mug was to be found in my home.

• Not only will my father refuse to drink ANY flavored coffee AT ALL ? his super-sleuth nose prevents him from drinking regular coffee that was made in a coffeepot that EVER brewed flavored coffee. My sister dared to once put a dash of cinnamon in a pot of coffee she made for her own consumption ? and three pots later Inspector Dad picked up on it.

• When visiting the parents at their home, Dad is ALWAYS in charge of coffee brewing. Admittedly, the man makes a mean cup of Joe (and his name is Joe … he always said if he had been thinking, it would be JoeBucks …) but the annoyance factor rests in his inability to just make a pot of coffee. Instead, it is necessary that the “Coffee Count” take place.

Anyone wanting a cup of coffee must positively assert that desire by both show of hands AND a verbal response. If, for some reason, you miss the coffee count you better have it in good with someone who can distract Dad — perhaps with a discussion of glass versus ceramic — while you steal a cup of coffee.

• Measuring devices. I could go on and on here but suffice it to say that no one touches Dad’s coffee measuring scoop. I don’t know what it is, but there is definitely some ritual involved in the cleaning, storing and shining of that measuring scoop.

• Dad’s “coffee of choice” made a business decision a few years ago to sell their company to a major player in the coffee industry. The new company made a marketing move — someone forgot to clear with Joe Miranda — to begin selling their product in a PLASTIC container as opposed to the glass container it had been in since 1944. Something about the flavor changing again …

• Finally, some of their children (mainly the locals, Sandy and I) often have the pleasure of taking this show on the road as Mom and Dad order coffee at various restaurants! Let this be the warning to all fast food chains — if you see the Mirandas pull in ? put on a fresh pot!

And so it is with Java Joe and his sidekick, Margaret ? a force to be reckoned with!

Happy Holidays!

Angela Arnwine, practices business/real estate law in the Prins & Arnwine Law Firm. She can be reached at: angelaarnwine@ yahoo. com.