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By Courtney Burkholder “You catch more flies with sugar than with vinegar.” Growing up, this was one of my mom’s favorite expressions. At the time, I recall flippantly asking, who wants to catch a fly? But I did know what she meant. I’ve even heard my grandmother use a variation of this expression in her very Southern accent, except the fly was a bee and the sugar was honey, so I know it has made its way through the ranks of my genes. Yet for some reason, it has been a difficult lesson for me to master, and I find myself confronted with opportunities to test the wisdom of this theory again and again. Sugar or vinegar? It’s a difficult choice, especially when the “opposing party” deserves a severe dousing with vinegar. Our summer vacation began as many do, with months of planning and budgeting, loads of work and preparation, and very high expectations. Because I’m Mom, the majority of the planning and preparation fell on me, and thus, I felt a tremendous amount of pressure for this vacation to be a success. The big day arrived, and we loaded our suitcases into the car and headed to the airport. First obstacle: One bag, six pounds overweight. Never mind that we had weighed the bag at home three times and knew it to weigh precisely 49 pounds, the American Airlines scales had a different opinion. So, we hurriedly stuffed six pounds worth of shoes and belts into my purse and were on our way. Well, not so fast. The flight was delayed. Then delayed again. I sent the kids to the souvenir shop to pick out some junk, and my husband to the bar for a drink. Nothing to worry about. Except that delayed flight led to a second missed flight. Okay, don’t panic, I thought. New airport = new souvenir shop = new bar. All would be fine. Singlehandedly, I secured us another flight at a later time, the last one of the day, and we were once again headed to paradise. Twelve hours after we pulled out of our driveway, we arrived at our beautiful hotel, tired, hungry, but anxious to begin our vacation. Only here was yet another problem. To use a biblical phrase, there was no room at the inn. Somehow, the room that I had reserved six months ago was “not available” but lucky for us (big smile from the desk clerk), a similar room was available. Only I didn’t feel so lucky. He assured me that the couch in this room could be used as a bed, and they would even roll in a trundle bed if we needed it. I felt heat rise inside me and flush my face. Our vacation was not going as planned. I informed the desk clerk we had a reservation and that our room – the room I had reserved - had better come available Quick! I pointed to my children – two small, exhausted heaps on the couch – to let him know I was not a mother to be messed with. He smiled and informed me that my “reserved” room was actually only a “requested” room and couldn’t be guaranteed. I pulled out my confirmation letter, slammed it on the desk, and asked to see the manager. As the desk clerk scurried off to find the manager, my husband stepped forward and took my hand. “Honey, let me take care of this.” He knew a volatile volcano when he saw one. “No! I made these reservations six months ago, and we aren’t taking that room with roll-out beds!” Vinegar! That’s what these people needed. A healthy dose of vinegar, and I was just the exhausted, stressed-out mom to give it to them! But he just smiled. “You’ve done a great job getting us here. Now let me have a turn.” I stormed to the couch and sat with the kids. I watched him introduce himself to the manager, explain our situation, smile, and ask what could be done to resolve this problem. He was polite, charming, courteous, and patient. There were no threats, raised voices, or angry retorts. Damn, the man was good with the sugar! Fifteen minutes later, he walked away with an upgraded ocean-view suite, a voucher for breakfast the next morning, and free valet parking for the evening. You see? Sugar or vinegar. Once again, my mother’s lessons come back to taunt me. You always have a choice. And remember, there are always little eyes watching and learning from your choices. |