Courtney Burkholder
Mommy Matters

Aside from Mom and Dad, there really isn’t a more important person in a child’s life than a grandparent.

Grandparents offer so much to children – they are a security and a constant in an ever-changing world; they are cheerleaders for their grandchildren and never fair-weather fans; they are role models and teachers of a generation past; they are a wealth of knowledge on topics Mom and Dad know nothing about; they are an ear that never tires of listening; and they have a world of experience in raising children and teaching lessons. Any grandparent will tell you, being a grandparent is the best job in the world!

As a child, my grandparents were extremely important to me. Of course, you know all about Mimi as she has contributed to my articles on many occasions.

But today I want to share with you about my other grandmother, Grammy. Although we never lived in the same city, I saw Grammy often and some of my fondest childhood memories are of times spent with her and my grandfather in Mount Vernon, Texas.

In the summers, my brother and I would spend weeks at a time with them. Grammy taught me to sew on a sewing machine and did her best to teach me to knit. She had a green thumb and always had beautiful flowers growing as well as strawberries and blackberries and pomegranates we would pick and eat right out of the yard. We would sit in the creaky porch swing for hours singing silly songs that I sing to my children today. And we talked. Grammy never tired of listening to me.

She taught me to cook simple meals like cornbread, black-eyed peas, and fresh yellow squash. She also let me make up recipes like cinnamon applesauce cake. I played dress-up in Grammy’s silky night-gowns and had her make-up on within five minutes of arriving at her house. Grammy bought high-heeled sandals so I could wear them when I played dress-up. She had more wonderful costume jewelry than anyone I’ve ever known!

And she rarely told me no. She even let me wear her knee-high stockings to church with my Sunday dress, much to my mother’s horror. Now, that’s not to say that Grammy was a push-over. Grammy had rules and expectation and we respected them. There was an arguing chair in the formal living room, and if we argued, we had to sit in the arguing chair until we stopped. She never yelled; she never punished. She was gentle in tone and spirit, and by example, she taught me patience, kindness, and the meaning of unconditional love. She taught me to enjoy the simple things in life.

Looking back, the things I enjoy most are things I learned to love from her: gardening, sewing, cooking. I even have a porch swing.

Grandparents, your support and commitment are invaluable to your grandchildren. Simple lessons you teach them today are lessons they will take with them forever.

If you are blessed enough to live close to your grandchildren, then take advantage of that. Go to their ballgames and school events. Pick them up from school and take them home with you for a few hours in the afternoon. Help them with homework, bake their favorite cookies; go on a treasure hunt in the back yard.

If you don’t live close by, weekly phone calls and visits are just as special. It’s the quality of the time you spend together that matters. Big trips and expensive gifts aren’t necessary. They need your time and attention and unconditional love. That’s all.