“Kids grow up so much faster these days.”

How many generations of parents and grandparents have said this? I remember as a child being stunned when I listened to my parents talk about getting their first color television set, or my grandparents talk about riding in the back of a wagon to town. No TV? No car? How had they ever survived?

Now I watch my own children’s stunned disbelief when they hear what we lived without. No Playstation, no Wii, no PSP. No e-mail, Blackberries, Internet or, can you believe it?

No cell phones!!

We live in a society where technology is growing and changing every day, and our children are as much a part of this communication explosion as we are. But are they equipped to handle the responsibility?

When I was in junior high, seventh grade to be exact, more than anything in the world, I wanted a phone in my room. Not my own phone line – that was too much to hope for – just a phone in my room so I could talk to my girlfriends in private without my nosy brother listening in. I didn’t call boys – wasn’t allowed to until well into my teens – and even then, it was frowned upon by my mother. And there were NO phone calls made after eight o’clock in the evening.

Recently, my 8-year-old son has been asking for his own cell phone. I’m not kidding! (That’s third grade versus my seventh-grade status.) He doesn’t really want to make calls yet, he just wants to have a cool ring tone and play games on it. He does occasionally use the telephone to call a friend to come over and play or tell someone where to meet him on Club Penguin. But to own his own cell phone?

Grandparents are reading this and probably in shock that an 8 year old is asking for a cell phone, but parents, you know this isn’t an uncommon request nor completely out of the box. He sees plenty of other kids with their own phones, and naturally, he wants one, too.

Many parents are allowing their young children to have cell phones as a means of “protection.” That way, they can get in touch with their children, and it gives them a sense of control to be able to contact their child when they are apart. For working parents, this seems reasonable, and certainly, as children reach their teens and are off on their own more, it is a valid means of communication. But what age is the right age? And what is too early? I’m talking about children under the age of 12 who are walking around with fancy phones that cost hundreds of dollars

Here are some things to consider …

A cell phone isn’t just a phone. It’s also a camera and a means to the Internet. It’s used to send text messages, e-mails, pictures, and voice mails. It also receives the same – from anyone who cares to send it something – good, bad or otherwise. And a cell phone can be used anywhere and anytime (in church or during school, early in the morning or late at night) not just from where it’s connected to the wall in the kitchen and under a mother’s watchful eye, like it was when we were growing up. That’s a lot of open doors for a kid to face, and certainly no means of control by a parent.

Is the cell phone a necessity or is it about keeping up with the Joneses? All the other kids have a cell phone, so I guess my child should have one, too. Never a good reason to do anything.

As for protection, if your child is unable to protect him or herself in a situation, maybe they don’t need to be off on their own in that situation. Maybe instead of a cell phone, what they need is more adult supervision.

Take into consideration a child’s needs, maturity level, and responsibility. For my own child, I considered those three things and quickly determined he was NOT in need of a cell phone. He barely uses a phone at home, so I know he doesn’t know appropriate phone etiquette – manners, time of day to make calls, appropriate messages, etc. These things come with practice and maturity.

If you do determine to allow your child to have their own cell phone, then set limits and teach them appropriate use of the phone. They won’t learn it through osmosis while sleeping with their cell phone under their pillow. Would you allow your child to be on the home telephone line for hours at a time? Calling the same person over and over again in a harassing fashion?

Of course not. And it isn’t appropriate for them to be calling their friends or sending text messages constantly 24/7. Yet, that’s what many kids are doing.

Parents, it’s a different world than when we grew up, but our parenting shouldn’t be that different. We still want our children to learn respect and responsibility, and to appreciate the privileges they receive. Don’t set them up for failure by giving them too much responsibility too early.