Courtney Burkholder
MOMMY MATTERS
 
I spent the past week observing five very different children and trying to figure out how they manage to mesh as well as they do.

They come from the same gene pool, and yet their personalities, strengths, and weaknesses are as different as vinegar and honey. In my typically organized way, I tried to compartmentalize these kids to see what I could learn. This rag-tag bunch who, by adult standards, shouldn’t get along at all, and yet, manage to meld into a wonderfully diverse group of individuals who love and accept each other unconditionally.

The Leader: The only female in a swirling sea of boys. Smart, funny, dynamic and mature. Too grown up to play the boys’ silly games, but too young to give them up. The instigator of all that is fun, like making movies, playing games, and putting on shows.

Her word is law; her opinions, hung on; her approval, highly coveted. On the verge of breaking free of the gang and spreading her wings, but still willing to guide the group on its continual quest for fun.

The Thinker: Serious, introspective and literal. His brain never stops trying to understand his world. A builder and creator; he’s more cerebral than physical. At times silly; at times, solemn. As much a part of the group as any of them, even when he plays alone. The questions never stop – how and why are his favorite words. His desire to learn is insatiable.

Comfortable in his role as a group member, yet he sometimes requires time apart. A rule follower by nature, this crazy group forces flexibility into his obdurate soul.

The Athlete: Smart, insightful, athletic. There isn’t a ball he can’t catch, or a game he can’t win. Highly competitive, deeply sensitive; with a strong desire to be accepted as one of the gang. He thrives on approval, even as he willingly steps out of bounds in the name of a good laugh. His heart is huge and easily bruised. Astute, opinionated, protective and independent.

A perfectionist with high expectations of himself, and a deep determination to meet the expectations of others.

The Clown: Funny, sensitive, compassionate and persistent. Now, this one is looking for a good time! There is nothing he loves more than being in the thick of things. His strength is his heart – his love of family and friends, his easy-going nature, his acceptance of others, and his laugh that brings joy to others.

Of course, he would trade it all for “The Athlete’s” agility, but if heart can win a basketball game, then “The Clown” will realize all his dreams. He revels in his role as a group member, and never wants to be alone.

The Big Boy: He is a big boy, and yet, the baby of the group. Affectionate, curious, determined and sensitive. His feet don’t run as nimbly as the others; his mouth doesn’t work as quickly; but his strength is his perseverance. He makes himself heard in one loud crowd and is never intimidated by the older and wiser.

Happiness comes in the form of a finished puzzle, a completed book; a game with the big kids; and an important role in the “show.” His hard work and persistence keep him right in the mix.

So how does a group of such varied personalities manage to get along so well? Unconditional love and acceptance.

If only we, as adults, could be so accepting of other’s differences. Take time this week to reflect on your own rag-tag group of children – siblings, cousins, or friends. Appreciate their differences and their ability to accept differences in each other. We can all learn a thing or two observing how children view each other.

Our next goal, keeping it that way through puberty.