Courtney Burkholder
MOMMY MATTERS
 

Spring has sprung. The sun is out, the trees are green, the flowers are in bloom, and the birds and the bees are awakening from a long winter’s rest with but one thing on their minds … The Birds and the Bees?!? Is that what this article is about???

Well, I guess we must. The topic of the day is … SEX.

There. I said it.

SEX, SEX, SEX!

It’s really not a dirty word, but when it comes to talking to our children about sex, most parents feel an inordinate sense of dread. But it’s an important topic and one I recently heard some other moms talking about.

Normally, I might have ignored their conversation as irrelevant to my life, but as these moms have children that are the same ages as my children, I felt compelled to listen. As I suspected, the time has come. Maybe not today, but it’s coming. Soon. And I want to be prepared.

Okay, so how do kids learn about sex? Some learn from their parents, others from their friends.

They learn about sex on television and on the Internet. They read about it on the cover of magazines while standing in line at the grocery store. They learn about it from their older siblings. They hear jokes about it, see glimpses of it at the movies, and hear about it on the radio. They see plenty when they’re checking out the new releases at Blockbuster. They hear about it on the news.

Don’t kid yourself. Sex is everywhere, and you may think your child is completely oblivious, but unless they are living in a sterile bubble without access to the outside world, they’ve been exposed in some way, and they are already forming opinions.

Personally, I want my children to learn about sex at home. I’m not looking forward to the job, but I think it’s important that they learn the how, when, where, and why from us, their parents. I want to be there for my kids … to send them straight to their father when they have questions! And I don’t want them to see the world’s distorted view of sex as normal.

So, what is the best method for telling your children about sex? I have no idea! You didn’t really think you were going to get any life-changing advice from this article, did you? But, I’ll share what I know.

I remember the day I learned about sex. My mother and I were sitting in the living room reading together, and I simply asked her where babies came from. I remember her words exactly. Obviously, there was the physical description of the act and I was introduced to the words “making love” and “intercourse.”

I’m blushing, just writing those words, but I guess I better get over it if I’m going to teach my children about sex. At the time, I think I was too embarrassed to ask any questions, but she made sure to tell me what she needed to without giving too much information. When it comes to discussing sex, I think ascribing to the “need-to-know” basis for sharing information is best.

The one-on-one talk is good, but it isn’t the only method. There are many excellent books available to aid parents as they stumble through this difficult task.

I have no doubt that kids will learn what they need to learn about their changing bodies and the differences in males and females in health class. What’s important is that you teach your children about valuing themselves, respecting themselves and the opposite sex, setting boundaries for themselves and others, and having high morale standards.

And make sure they know you are there to answer their questions. The sex talk is a one-time event, but raising children with an educated and healthy view of sex is a job that carries on throughout their growing-up years.

Whew! It was sure nice to get that out of the way!