Kinky Friedman, center, plays the governor of Texas in the locally produced film, ''Palo Pinto Gold.'' (Courtesy photo)

By Bob Polunsky
Guest Columnist

“Palo Pinto Gold” follows the old-fashioned traditions of western movies when bad guys wore black hats and scowled while good guys wore white hats and looked stern even when they smiled.

True to form, the movie reminds us that gunfire was always more meaningful than dialogue in movie westerns. The storyline is reminiscent of western movie classics (one of the characters is even named “Shane”), and the dialogue is short and sweet so it doesn’t distract anyone from hearing about the historic gunfight a reporter asks about.

At the same time, “Palo Pinto Gold” coins a phrase that’s bound to be used again by sheriffs, deputies and other do-gooders in future westerns. When one character asks another what they should do about the bad guys, his answer is “cuff ‘em, club ‘em or shoot ‘em!” It sounds like something John Wayne might have said, or, at the very least, wished he had said in one of his westerns.

The movie was filmed at the Enchanted Spring Ranch in Boerne and boasts a cast of popular pros (Roy Clark, Mel Tillis).  There are also cameo appearances by San Antonio TV talk-show hostesses Shelley Miles and Leslie Bohl Jones and WOAI-TV weatherman Monclovio Perez.  A spirited performance from new-found local actress Joanna Goode as the leading lady named Kayla sets the scene, as well as a memorable appearance by Texas’ own Kinky Friedman as the Texas governor. He grins broadly when another character tells him he should run for president. (“Me president? Well, why the hell not!”)

The plot has traces of just about all westerns inspired by the gunfight at the OK Corral as well as a slapstick tribute to “Blazing Saddles” that parodies its most famous scene.

The bad guys are easily identified. They are the most ornery-looking varmints that ever rode a horse through the Texas frontier, and many of those involved with the making of the film will be on hand at a special Red Carpet performance at the Palladium in The Rim shopping center on May 6.

The film is told in flashbacks when a reporter (Rodney Lay) from Austin tries to get the “real story” behind the most famous shootout in Palo Pinto from two whisky-guzzling old timers (Clark and Tillis). They oblige him as long as he keeps the bartender coming with refills while they trace the origin and aftermath of that shootout, interrupting each other from time to time to make a plot point and get a laugh that adds a personal touch to their dialogue. The punch line ending itself is a surprise you won’t expect.

The movie has violence, but no more than a John Wayne western. Scenes of a budding romance between bashful Jake (Trent Willmon) and feisty Kayla (Joanna Good) give us characters to cheer. Western music on the soundtrack maintains the film’s pace in scenes between gunfights and fistfights.

Most of the characters are stereotypes, but so are western movies themselves. “Palo Pinto Gold” is like the westerns that audiences fondly remember as “family entertainment.”

Studio rating: PG-13
Bob says: “Follow the guy in the white hat” 
3 Stars