Cynthia Hall Clements

A couple of reality scares later, and this “little lady” – just call me “Honey” – learned there are still men threatened by assertive, ambitious women, even with Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., as our first Madame Speaker of the House of Representatives. 

Here in the South especially, gender submission is the norm de jour.  In Texas, I’m a Mrs. His Last Name, not Ms. Her Last Name.      

If doubtful of this truth, consider men’s – in general, not individually – reactions to Hillary Rodham Clinton, D-NY.  Some men have very strong, negative opinions about her personally and her political career.  “I’m in,” she said in announcing her presidential intentions recently, and the naysayers came out of the closet, immediately discounting her chances.  Could it be that some men are secretly scared of Hillary’s power and influence, so they dismiss her outright because of her gender? 

So when I read a recent New York Times article that said more American women – probably for the first time – are living without a spouse, my initial thought was, I’m not surprised.  Fifty one percent of us are currently living without a husband - whether because of later age at first marriage, high divorce rates, same gender relationships, or temporary separation for career reasons.   

I conducted an informal, quite unscientific survey of my women friends (a cross-section of the population, but by no means a representative sample) to gauge female reaction to this study.  Universally, they said, “Duh!” as in “I could be happy without a man,” if they are currently cohabitating with one.  If not, they explained all their reasons why not: They’ve had their babies, are doing well financially and in their careers, and generally enjoy life with their friends and family, and without a man.

So, the problem with men and women, and their relationships, is somewhere between marital disenchantment and denial.  It’s a nearly insurmountable divide, so women are taking the kids and fleeing the nest. 

Marriages have changed because women changed, from our mother’s generation to mine.  Blame us.     

The three “C”s of traditional womanhood – cooking, cleaning, and children – weren’t enough to satisfy – personally or professionally – our mothers.  Where’s the fulfillment, they asked, in keeping hearth and home for a man?  So they went back to college, or ventured into the workplace, plans abandoned when they had obtained their “Mrs.” degrees at the altar.

Women went out to conquer the world in their own right, but returned home at night to a second full-time job of domesticity, getting dinner on the table, helping with the homework, and driving to soccer practice.  These men left their caves and went to the wilderness to slay their dragons – as they’ve done since time began in a garden – but didn’t want to pick up the slack – or the dirty laundry – at home.   

The American man is quickly becoming an endangered species in women’s lives, so say a majority of us.  Can he evolve before he becomes extinct? 

Cynthia Hall Clements has worked for the legislatures of both Tennessee and Louisiana and was most recently a columnist for the Lufkin Daily News in Texas.  She can be reached at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .